Why oh why is it only the approach?

[Drake_Ashby]

Hey guys,

Love the show, love what you do. Forum posters are just as helpful as well!

I need advice on a drill or exercise to force myself to get better at cold approaches. I am pretty comfortable from all other aspects of game from getting the phone number to dates to sex. I really would like to improve my cold approach day game especially, for some reason even just saying "Hi" in day game takes more nerve for me than any other part of game or socializing in general.

[Jordan Harbinger]

You won't like this tip, but it's the best one out there anywhere: Practice.

-Jordan

[Drake_Ashby]

Thanks Jordan, I think I knew the answer.

You're a great interviewer by the way, especially getting the guest comfortable and having them share so much.

[Drake_Ashby]

Hey Jordan, followed your advice, approached two different single girls and a group of friends (two girls and a guy) on separate occasions today. Got a phone number from one of the single girls that was actually working in a clothing store, which I never usually flirt with girls that are at work which was a nice surprise for me.

So major strides happened in one shot.

Thanks again for what you guys do. There are not enough good guy friends out there to talk about this stuff with.

[Bart S]

Here's the thing. I agree that "practice" is the right idea. But one thing I've never liked about some guys who do approaching as "practice" is they don't follow through as much as they should. If they begin to stall or crash, they just bail and then sum it all up as "practice". Push yourself.

This is a real girl on the other end. There is real opportunity there. She's not a 'scrub'. She doesn't know that you are out "practicing your social skills". to her, this is a cute guy that she might soon be in a relationship with.

Who the hell knows, right? So I would add to the advice: Practice with Intent. Intent to Close. Cuz if I know anything, I know "always be closing". is the advice of Kings.

[Drake_Ashby]

Bart,

Thanks for that advice. I am guilty right now of seeing cold approach day game as simply practice. A situation like the girl working in the clothing store was easy because a natural conversation was easy to get going (do you have a t-shirt with X design on it?). Or the group I approached was talking about music in front of me so it was an easy open to get in on the conversation.

What I really want to concentrate on is the girl sitting on the bench randomly or walking past me / in front of me. After saying hi, even with using a question or observation about her, or the surrounding setting, I have a hard time getting past that without stalling. I struggle to find a natural path beyond the initial greeting and question or observation.

Any tips on those types of situations?

When you say guys many times bail when stalling or crashing, do you recommend pushing yourself by staying longer and keeping the conversation going to try to save it and turn it around? In other words, don't stop until you really get some pretty strong vibe its done.

[Bart S]

Right. Aim to stay in through some adversity. Really work on feeling what the vibe of the situation is.

Also, if you think its time to bail, practice leaving on a good or positive note. As an example, "it was really awesome meeting you, how bout a high five for the road?"
- yeah thats just kind of a goofy example but my point is - turn your exit strategy into something positive (and fun).

[MD01970]

High five for the the road. haha nice... thanks for the advice.

[Josch]

hey read this post and have started practising and man everytime i do it my heart pounds though my chest and i say hi how are you or hi i would like a medium cappicuino and a gorgeous GF and i seem to get all the laughs
but i think my body language is throwing people way off this is something i need to improve

but i will keep practing and improve
I AM A MAN ON A MISSION

[Rob K]

Just remember, the mind follows the mind follows the body and the body follows the mind when it comes to body language.