Ultimate Patheticism

[Kim]

To put it plainly, it's the FEELING you had when you were with her that your desire. It's not her. I think you might find it helpful to separate the two.

Write down how you felt when you were with her when things were good. Did you feel powerful? Euphoric? Write these things down and we'll go from there.

[diaton]

To put it plainly, it's the FEELING you had when you were with her that your desire. It's not her. I think you might find it helpful to separate the two.

Write down how you felt when you were with her when things were good. Did you feel powerful? Euphoric? Write these things down and we'll go from there.

alright let's abandon the need for someone else and remember how i felt..

Well let's see, she was two grades below me so she was obviously subservient. I just felt good, it's a pretty good feeling knowing you and someone else share the same feelings about each other. When it started off she liked me way more than I liked her but as time went on that changed.

It's hard to quantify stuff into one word emotions, for me its more like experiences.. Like I took her snowboarding a couple times, we fooled around a lot in my room while my parents were home and they didn't even know she was in the house.. that kind of stuff

[Kim]

Try again.

You got one feeling sentence in there - "I just felt good." Then you told me how I feel and then you told us how you think she felt.

Otherwise, if it's only about experiences, your entire argument falls apart quickly because you can have those experiences with anyone, at any time.

[diaton]

alright. everything in my life was clicking. i felt amazing.

so yes i'd say i was euphoric, in control and powerful (follows since she was subservient), everything was going my way. honestly i guess that's it. i was just so happy, it wasn't a spiking happy but more of a dull feeling.

i can't get any more descriptive than that, i did my best..

[Kelvin Y]

Thought #1: You give up too easily. I don't believe for one second that that's all you can say.

Thought #2: From what you've said so far, it sounds like you miss being in control of something. Not to say you controlled her per se, but you liked to know you had sway over something. I'm guessing that now you don't even feel in control of your own emotions and thoughts, and it's disturbing you.

Keep going, though. The more you think hard as per Kim's guideline, the more we'll be able to help.

[diaton]

Thought #2: From what you've said so far, it sounds like you miss being in control of something. Not to say you controlled her per se, but you liked to know you had sway over something. I'm guessing that now you don't even feel in control of your own emotions and thoughts, and it's disturbing you.

yeah i really did lose control of my life (literally everything) for about 6 months, but i've taken control of certain parts of that and i'm on my way up. i have to tackle only a few things at a time.

here's a thought--this one is hard to describe: i didn't care. basically i didnt care about anything except:
a. girl exists
b. girl does sexual things with me
c. girl is still there and likes me back

hmm. i kind of felt like i was needed. wanted. well i felt necessary (mandatory? important?). yeah, this is an important one for sure. usually people say i have a tendency to think others hate me, which is true. i've been working on that as well..

before i asked her out, she asked me a couple times if i would ever do so. that made me feel good.
yeah, i felt wanted. thats definitely an important one. i'm still thinking..

[diaton]

well let's add one or two points

d. girl finds me interesting and likes to talk to me
e. girl is interesting and i enjoy talking with her