Why I do this

[StarkOfBoston]

NOTE: I understand this post may come across as sombre. It's not - I'm simply reflecting. I was not upset, but strongly reminded that this journey is not about getting laid or becoming a player. And also reminded that while I have made tremendous progress, I still have far to go. I will add a smiley at the end to prove that I'm not being emo! haha

Tonight I was reminded very strongly why I am undergoing this endeavor and why it is so important that I do this.

I'm vulnerable. I can easily be taken out again by the sting of a woman. Something as simple as an impulsive and momentary decision can be enough to sting me for days, weeks, or in the unfortunate cases, longer. It's always amazed me at the power women have had over me without having to really do anything besides exude beauty and femininity. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Unfortunately, this is not simply the case for only those with whom I've had serious relationships. Often, I can be stung by those whom I've only interacted with for several hours, or perhaps even less.

I need to be strong. This is weakness will keep me from achieving what I want to achieve in life. It's a fairly simple concept. To find a good match, I must have many attempts and, from this, improve my relationship ability and hone my ability to identify a compatible partner. I will not be able to achieve such repetitions if I am perpetually hurt. Further, I will have great difficultly living my life in such a state.

This journey is extremely important. For without it, I may live a miserable life full of regrets. Regrets for the many amazing women that have come across my path and I watched get swept up by other men. Regrets for not even making an attempt at something I so strongly desire. Regrets for fearing this failure and caring how other's perceive it. It is anything but easy to set out on this path. But, pursuing and persevering through the difficult is what separates the champions from everyone else.

Another thought crosses my mind. I am not solely doing this for myself. But also for my future son. So he has a leg up. He does not have to go through what I have and will go through. I will test and fail for him, and make his life easier. With this, he will more easily achieve great things and live a better life.

anti-emo smiley: