Do you guys go to night clubs?

[Carolyn]

I go once in a while, when I want to dress up. I don't like to dance. :-\

[Kevin S.]

My mom's 42 and she loves night clubs.

She's been married for 6 years and met my step-father at a nightclub.

Do you like to drink, dance, meet people, have a good time, like music, explore, see new things, women, get loud?

If not, then you don't like clubs.

[Carolyn]

I like to people watch too.

[GHFactor]

Dan,

I'm 36 going on 37, and I agree about the nightclub scene. I look for 30+ establishments using sites like Citysearch, (Try this: http://sanfrancisco.citysearch.com/b..._singles_scene ). I think it's helpful to view the loud and crowded clubs as solely places to practice. You don't have to like those environments, but they can be useful for working on your game. At the same time, there are throngs of 30+ beautiful women at grocery stores like Whole Foods Market (at least here in Atlanta).

I have a few suggestions that you might try...

- Art Museums
- Art Museum events
- Art Gallery Openings
- Farmers Markets
- Health/Gourmet grocery stores (ie: Whole Foods, Trader Joe's)
- Coffee shops
- Outdoor festivals
- Wine Tastings
- Churches/Synagogues


-GHFactor

[San Francisco Dan]

For what it's worth, I talked to David Wygant a couple days ago. He's in his 40s and told me he has never been into bars or clubs. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. Has anyone done a bootcamp with him?

[craigster]

My two cents. I am not a big fan of night clubs. The crown is young, and it's loud. I am not saying that I wouldn't date a younger woman, but maturity and perspective on life is a lot more important to me now (when looking for someone to date) than when I was in my twenties (I am 34, BTW). The fact that she is a smoking hottie just isn't enough, and that's the type I meet in night clubs. Second reason I don't like nightclubs, I really need to be heard in order to game. I know body language conveys alot, but when I can't conversate, I can't game.

So, I go to bars and local taverns. The crowd is a bit older, and it's a little more chill. It works for me.

But if neither of those work for you, check out meetup.com. It's a great tool for expanding your social circle relative to another activity or hobby that you enjoy.

Thanks,

Craigster

[Menace]

Yeah - the darkness hides my old age. (LOL) I used to not like to go to clubs, but recently as my skills have improved it is fun to 'game' because everyone there is there to be social. Good Luck to ya' all. Menace

[zmook]

Do you like to drink, dance, meet people, have a good time, like music, explore, see new things, women, get loud?
If not, then you don't like clubs.

So, hey, Kevin -- I'm indifferent to music and I don't like getting loud. Drinking is okay. I do like seeing new things, but clubs are not exactly wildly original. The thing I most enjoy about meeting people is *talking* to them, and that's certainly not what clubs are for. I have never enjoyed them at all.

So I wouldn't even consider going, except there's also this nagging voice at the back of my head that maybe I don't enjoy them because my game sucks, and I should go practice. When I end up home on a Friday night, I feel crazy pressure that I'm *supposed* to be out there meeting women. It's hard to sort out. Am I wimping out by staying home rather than going out alone to a place I'm not particularly interested in going, or am I succumbing to unnecessary peer pressure by going and tormenting myself?

I *do* fucking enjoy cocktail parties. What I need to do is figure out how to find more of *those*.

[kwilliamson]

I live in the Va Area. Sadly I have to consult, so this is a bit of a delima for me. Weekdays in Richmond, Weekends in the Washington D.C area.
I have listened to the Pickup Podcasts, and have to say it is great advice.

I am a naturally outgoing, but my Southern Manners would stop me from going up to 2 girls etc, not to interupt. Mind you I have had beautiful women in my life, so I know I can attract. After listening to about the first 24 podcasts, it pumps me up. So far I have just said "Screw it, go up and smile, talk to the them, and yes it works. As they say, the women do not dress up, get their early to get a seat to just be ignored. So as a 45 year old, this is what I would suggest...because it has worked for me.

1. Go to Happy Hours over Night Clubs on Wed/Thursday/Friday . This is the 6-9pm set. For me almost all high end places have bar areas where people are relaxing.

2. Walk the area once, and then focus on who you want to meet. The girls go quick, remember, ever other guy is there, don't wait, go up, make eye contact, banter, close the deal and leave (This shows you are not a bar loser..you have a life)

3. Open with this approache. A) Go up between the 2 girls and ask politely if you can get a drink, and squeeze to either side (to which ever girl you like best). Order your drink, and you have a minute to compliment. Start your Banter. (What is that you are drinking etc) Now when the Drink comes up, make like it is so full and tell them you don't want to spill it on them, they are so beautifully dressed (compliment #1) Now if you get that smile or laugh, use this..and I can't impress you how much it works. Go up to her, close and whisper to her "You are just unbleiveably CUTE" and watch her just come alive.

And remember the Golden Rule, Keep the Momentum Going. Ask about "Her" and LISTEN to what she says. ask about Family in the area, Her Hobbies, why did she wear that ring etc. Focus on her..

Number Closing. Make it simple, go "Hey, we so need to carry on this conversation, but I have to go..Let me give you MY number, **** and make sure she pulls her phone out.. You give the number, and have her call you then and there. Your Phone rings. (No fake numbers) . Get it and leave shortly after with a nice compliment... (Leave them wanting)

Now here is the magic.. You were talking about something, Great Ice Cream, sports you both like, parks you both go to.. About 2-3 hours later, text her, and tease her you have plans to go to that place etc... She will go "What, he went without me...you are a couple already get it !! Now either she texts back or she doesn't. If not, you saved $$$ and be happy. If she does text back, keep the momentum going.

2nd Dates, Coffee, something simple, take time to talk to her. Do not do the 'Dinner Thing.. " unitl after you see some major interest. If she doen't kiss you by the 2nd date..you are chasing a ghost.

So this has worked for me, and as generous as I have been (dropped 400$ ON A DINNER...never saw the girl again).. So trust me, keep the wallet in your pocket.

I hope this helps, we are all hear to learn to calibrate our approach. I have met a girl in a Grocery Store at the Pet food Section, I did get a 2nd date from a girl I met at Happy Hour....it does work.

True Story, at the date the girl kept asking me "Why Me, Did you really find me the prettiest, what attracted you to me"... See, they are hoping and praying for that attention...that you are giving !!

Now get out there and have some fun... !!

[Mike 2000]

I am 34 and go to clubs and bars all the time and don't see that changing any time soon. And yes, I go primarily to meet women but I also go because I like the atmosphere, I like the music, I like to hang with friends, drink, etc.

If you do not like that scene, I would not go just to meet people. Even if you are good at faking it like you like it and are having a good time, women and people may see through that and that you work against you.

Besides, clubs are probably the worst way to meet people that you will really connect with and there are a lot better options. What are your hobbies? Whatever those are, do some related activities that you will meet some people with (men or women). For example, biking club, sports clubs, cooking classes, wine tasting classes, foreign language classes, book club, professional organization for work, etc. Don't have a hobby or area of interest, get one....